


The Great Divide Chapter 5: What Lies Beneath

by Antigravity_Carnivore



Series: The Great Divide [5]
Category: Breaking Benjamin (Band), STARSET (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F.E.C., Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Heavy Angst, Homosexuality, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Rebellion, Science Fiction, starset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:17:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antigravity_Carnivore/pseuds/Antigravity_Carnivore
Summary: After the betrayal, the Messengers scramble into action, but all Dustin Bates wants is answers, and redemption. Can he find them both before time runs out?





	The Great Divide Chapter 5: What Lies Beneath

The Great Divide Chapter 5 – What Lies Beneath 

A medical team came in, after the security cleared Thomas out and pushed me out of the way, moving quickly to attend to Benjamin. I sat on the floor in my thin gown and stolen lab coat as they quickly assessed the situation and had him up on a stretcher within seconds. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly, but I knew it was impossible. It took four of them to lift his muscular body off the bed and put it on the gurney. I remember looking down at the droplets of blood that trickled down off him with a dull fascination. How utterly beautiful they looked in the dim lights. My heart felt heavy and uncomfortable in my chest. I watched him die once before and now it was happening all over again. I could of stopped Thomas, if I had the strength, but I didn’t. I failed…I failed someone else too, a long time ago, the memory eluded me, but the feelings and emotions still remained, leaving a pain in the pit of my stomach, why couldn’t I remember? Lost in my reverie, I felt a light touch on my shoulder, it was Lizzie, I didn’t have to look up to know it was her. A few members of the medical team stayed behind with her, and she bent down to speak in a soothing tone. “Mr. Bates, let’s get you back to the Infirmary so you can get checked out okay?” 

I didn’t look at her; I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the stains of his blood on the floor. Blood that I could of prevented from being shed, if I was one second faster, a little bit stronger. I felt cold, and even though there were others in the room with me, I never felt so alone in my entire life. He told me that he loved me, with his dying breath…but it wasn’t Ben who spoke those words. I slowly pulled myself to my knees as the medical staff looped their arms around me and helped me to my feet. Lizzie was saying something but I really wasn’t listening. My mind was tuned out, dumb and far away. Only upon reaching the door did I turn around and realize that the visor that Thomas cast aside was missing.

Thomas Bell had been taken to a holding facility, following his capture, and the base put on high alert after his revelation. Resistance air strikes had been prepared and made ready, ground troops stood on high alert, waiting for the incoming strike, but nothing happened. Three days passed and tensions were high, families had been moved to other locations, provisions rationed and everyone armed, but still no strike came, the radar remained clear, no sign of incoming troops at all. Even with the threat of danger, I was treated like an insect under glass. Doctor Wise had not specified a replacement head of medical, and the result of which was an endless series of new faces, all clutching their various scanning devices eager to poke and prod at me. They wanted to know where I had come from, and what my ties to Benjamin were. I calmly told them the truth, with a few selected omissions. I was the front man of a band, and I had met Benjamin while touring, and developed a close ‘friendship’. I didn’t know how I got to be captured by the F.E.C., much less how I even got here in the first place. (Author’s note: Please refer to the Starset graphic novel for the full history of the F.E.C. and how the Prox planet came into existence.) I calmly explained that my last memories were that of drifting off, falling into some black void, and the next thing I knew, I was in the Messengers base. This only sparked more poking and probing. My body was recovering from the months of being subjected to torture, which I couldn’t remember any of, at an unusually alarming rate. Cuts and bruises that were deep and down to the bone were healing in a matter of hours, and I was almost back to perfect health by the end of the third day. Suspicions were raised that this increased healing time was due to the F.E.C. device that had been used on me, but it couldn’t be confirmed, nor debunked because the visor that Thomas had used on Benjamin could not be found anywhere in the base. This in itself was a cause for alarm, fearing that, being a direct link to the F.E.C. and Carnivores, it might conceal a tracking device. Teams searched the base for it, using high powered tracking devices that would pick up any alien technology, but it couldn’t be found. I let them run their tests, sitting calmly through it all, my mind was somewhere else. I couldn’t stop thinking of Ben. They wouldn’t reveal any information to me, and I was starting to get slightly annoyed. Kept separated from the rest of the Infirmary, the doctors locked me away in my own room, with little to no outside contact, except for the nurse, Lizzie. Day after day, I asked about Ben, first being kind and curious about his condition, but then as my patience started to waver, so did my composure. She explained to me that information was top secret, and not just being kept from me, but from most of the base as well. They had taken him to a secluded part of the medical wing, accessible only by the highest ranking officers and the immediate medical staff. He was alive. This was enough to keep me satiated…for the moment anyway. 

After a few days of confinement, I started to grow weary of being kept a virtual prisoner of my saviors. I implored the doctors to release me, but they wouldn’t allow it, using the excuse that until my story could be corroborated by the Commander himself, I was subject to being locked away. Every day I sat on the nondescript bed, staring at the stark white walls, letting my mind drift off and wander aimlessly, until the night would come, and the base would quiet down, then I would get up and pace, until sleep eventually overcame me and I was forced to close my eyes and rest for a few hours. My irritation with it all soon intensified, and I found myself becoming uncooperative and resisting the doctors. I refused their tests, and made my discomfort very known. Benjamin was out there in this facility, laid out on some stretcher. I had to find him, when I was lost and all alone, and he found me, I just had to go find him, no matter what the cost. I needed to see those beautiful gray eyes again.

“Mr. Bates?” The sound of a voice woke me out of my half-sleep state. I pried my eyes open to see Lizzie standing at the door, clutching her scan card in her hand nervously. She didn’t have anything with her, no pills, shots or medical charts. I gave her a casual glance and looked at her questioningly without saying a word. “Commander Burnley is asking for you sir.”

“What?!” I immediately sat up on the bed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Ben! He was asking for me! Finally! He was going to be okay. My heart raced with the thought of seeing his beautiful face once more, to reach out and touch his fingertips, to be in his arms again. I struggled to compose myself as best as I could. I had waited for this for so long, being lost in that darkness, and now there was a bright light of hope on the horizon. 

Lizzie gave me a small smile and nodded. “Yes, I have been instructed to take you to him, but first there is the small task of making you a bit more presentable. If you will follow me.” I did as she asked and stayed a few steps behind her, letting her lead me out of the locked Infirmary room. We went past the intensive care until where I could remember waking up, and down a long corridor that also seemed vaguely familiar. We were in the same location as where Ben’s private quarters were. She saw me looking around and pointed to a door on the opposite wall. “That is the Commander’s room.” She said in a flat monotone voice that seemed a bit cold and distant. “This will be yours.” Reaching into her pocket, she withdrew a key card with a bar code on it, and the name D.BATES printed very boldly across it and slid it into the lock. The door quickly opened up and she went inside. Following her, I watched as she tapped her hand against a sensor on the wall and the room was flooded with lights. It was a decent sized room, empty and devoid of personality, but still spacious and roomy to be inviting. As I walked around, taking it all in, she pointed to the desk, similar to the one that was in Ben’s room, and the computer that sat on top of it. “You have use of all the facility’s training guides, history, and any other type of information that you require which is not classified.” She handed me the card and I took it from her with a little apprehension. “But that’s for another time, follow me.” Waving her hand, she walked me over to another room off the side and to the bathroom. “The shower is there, it has been preset to wash with infused antibiotic and skin conditioning water for best results. There are 8 cleaning jets on the wall and two on the floor which you can adjust for your own personal comfort levels.” She looked at me, standing there slack jawed, still wearing the paper thin hospital gown and stifled a laugh. “If I were you, I’d just keep it to the ‘basic’ setting for your first experience it can be quite intense.”

“Yeah I will keep that in mind, that’s Lizzie. Thanks.”

“Certainly Mr. Bates. After you finish your shower, you will find a change of clothing on the bed.” I have some other matters to attend to, so I will leave you to it. When you are finished, please do not go wandering around without an escort, you can use the paging system on the computer to alert me when you are ready to go and I will come collect you, you’re pretty clever, I am sure that you can figure it out, it’s fairly simple.” She turned around to leave, her face expressionless and distant. This was not the same girl that had helped me a few days ago. 

I called out to her. “Lizzie, thank you.” She turned the corners of her mouth upright, almost the semblance of a smile, but without the feeling.

“You’re welcome Mr. Bates.” Walking out, she stopped at the door for a moment, inputting a code that locked it and left. I considered protesting being locked into my own room, but the thought of a hot shower was much more promising so I decided to choose my battles wisely. Lizzie was a bit of a mystery to me and I didn’t know fully what her intentions were. 

I looked into the large mirror and brought a hand to my face. The dark circles that hung below my eyes like half moons were completely gone now, the flesh that was once stretched tightly over my cheekbones, full and vibrant with life again. A full beard partially hid my face, something I was not accustom to, and I looked through the cabinets for a razor. Even here on this advanced planet, there were somethings that never seemed to change, and this was one of them. I filled the sink with the chemically treated water and within moments, after a few sharp swipes of the ungodly sharp razor I found, I started to resemble my old self again. I took off the glasses and held them out in my hand, sighing quietly. It seemed odd to be wearing a dead man’s spectacles, but they were needed at the time. I gently sat them down on the sink and pulled off the robe, letting it drop down to the floor, and then pulled the gown over my head and discarded that as well. After days of only being allowed sponge baths, I was looking forward to feeling the hot water on my skin. I stepped into the center of the shower box and immediately a series of sensors scanned my naked body, reading body temperature and size, then within a few seconds the water kicked on, perfectly measured to my specifications. My muscles which were a bit sore and aching from not being used immediately began to relax, as the hot steam filled my lungs, allowing me to breathe with ease. The water cascaded down over my head and to my shoulders, trickling down in a warm stream over my back. Intense and full of pressure, it penetrated every single one of my pores, rinsing off the last few days worth of worry. Stretching my arms out, I leaned against the closest wall and dropped my head, so I could feel the water on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes and thought about seeing Ben again, how much I was looking forward to hearing his voice say my name out loud and gaze at me with that always stoic, serious look. He was all that mattered to me now, he was the reason that I was alive, and I wanted to be his. We were trapped on a planet, light years ahead of our own, and in the middle of a rebellion but it was going to be okay, because we were going to be together, nothing could stop us.

“These memories.” He whispered. My eyes shot open and I looked around the bathroom, but there was no one there. The voice was distant, but yet still sounded like it had been whispered in my head. Was it Ben? No. I‘d know his voice in an chorus of hundreds. This wasn’t him. I exhaled, thinking it was my imagination and returned to the glorious stream of water that surrounded me. I had been only relaxing for a few moments when I heard it again. “They never leave.” I roughly pulled the curtain back and looked out to the bathroom again, seeing nothing except for the mist in the air from the hot water. “I bared my soul for you and all I got was static.” I suddenly felt a hand alongside of my jaw, guiding my face back toward the shower. Standing right in front of me, naked and dripping wet was Brock. I took a step back, confused and shocked. All of a sudden a wave of emotion hit me, overcoming me at once and a pain shot through my head. I staggered back against the far wall. I glanced up at him, my eyes starting to instantly tear up, although I didn’t know why, my heart was aching and beating furiously in my chest.

“How are you here?” I asked. “You can’t be here… I… I..” I stopped. What? What was I about to say? What did I do? It was so close; my mind scrambled and tried to remember.

He brought a finger up to his lips, and I watched him slowly approach me. The water glistened off his smooth skin, and dripped down his thin, boyish frame. I didn’t move away, even though every part of me knew that this couldn’t possibly be happening, Brock wasn’t here. He came to stop in front of me, pinning me against the back wall of the shower and I stood still, trapped in place, not wanting or daring to move. Tilting his head down, he kissed the corner of my neck, letting his lips glide along my damp skin and come to a rest at my collarbone. His soft, gentle touch was like that of velvet being draped over my naked flesh, soft and warm and so inviting. Reaching out, he brought a hand to my chest, placing it over my heart and let his fingers drag down, along the sides of my body, over the gentle slope of my hip and then around to the lower part of my back. With a firm tug, he used those fingers as leverage and pulled my torso close to his, and I could feel parts of me glide against him, as a wanton desperate feeling started to take over me. He glanced at me, with those beautifully innocent eyes as his lips now went to my jawline, teasing the newly shaven, sensitive flesh with a series of kisses and teasing nips with his teeth. My hands trembled, I wanted to take him in my arms, I wanted him so badly, but there was something wrong, a lingering pain still remained in my head, I couldn’t shake it. It felt wrong and disturbing. They said that the F.E.C. had used one of their visors on me, was this hallucination one of the side effects caused by it? No, it couldn’t be, it felt too real. I could feel the heat from his skin against mine, I could see the light in his eyes, feel those tender touches. I missed him so much. It felt good to have him back… but where was he? Why did he leave my life? Moving his lips away from my jaw, he brought them to my ear, where he whispered to me one single word that made me melt.

“Dustin.”

It was at that moment that I felt myself giving in. Yes, these had to be the feelings, memories and emotions that I was repressing. It could be nothing else. If I could reach out and touch him, I’d remember it all; it could come flooding back to me. These were the memories I was struggling to remember, the part of me that I needed back. I stretched my arms out and wrapped them around his slender body, it was so thin, and I thought that I would break him in two. Bringing my chest into his, I gazed into his eyes for a moment, seeing something there that seemed more like a warning than anything else, and it made me feel uneasy. It was unspoken and apprehensive. He almost seemed sad and sympathetic, and my heart went out to him. Was this a warning or an invitation? I couldn’t possibly understand what he was trying to say to me. I leaned in, placing a deep, passionate kiss on his pink lips that seemed to last forever. I felt his body tense up for a moment, and then relax against mine. I had made my decision. He responded by bringing his other arm around me and letting his fingers glide between my buttocks for a moment and then back up around the sides of my body, feeling each depression of flesh between the ribs, slowly, delicately, teasingly. The taste of that kiss was exquisite and delicious, I felt like a man who had been starving and now was presented with a full plate of food once again, everything he could ever want, all presented out in a beautiful display of delights right in front of him. Face to face with him, with the water washing over us, I ran my fingers through his sandy colored hair, feeling the short locks slip between my fingers. He smiled at me, I always loved Brock's impish smiles; they lit up a room whenever he walked in. My hands dropped down to around his neck, and circled it; he continued to smile at me, that gut wrenching smile of delight. Before I knew it, I was closing my hands over his flesh, squeezing, tightening, and forcing my grip to become tighter with each passing moment. I couldn’t control them. I could feel him start to gasp for breath, his heart racing and pumping furiously, desperate to get air into his lungs. I couldn't stop myself, harder and harder I squeezed, but he did not struggle or fight back. Only when I heard a audible pop and his head lull back did I realize what I had done. I let go of his body and let it drop down to the floor of the shower, broken and discarded. I felt sick to my stomach. Then I remembered... this happened before. There was a darkened stage, the Emulator, and the Monster inside my head. My hands were covered in blood; Brock was dead at my feet, his life ended by my own hands. Ben warned me that this would happen. No! It couldn't be me! I loved Brock. How could I have done this? Hitting the sensor on the wall, I shut the water off and bent down beside his lifeless body and held it in my arms. I was responsible for this, this was my doing. I closed my eyes and sobbed. There wasn't a Monster back then, it was all me, and out of shame and guilt, I foolishly ended his life and my own life. It all came back to me with a startling reality. Ben was dead, Brock was dead, and there was nothing left for me but agony. I took the coward's way out, a quick escape from my miserable life, and somehow ended up here. Slowly I opened my eyes again to find I was alone in the shower, dripping and damp, kneeling on the floor. It was a hallucination, nothing more. But Ben was here; alive...could that possibly mean that Brock was too? The real Brock and not some ghost from my past. What if I could have them back? Both of them? Would I have to choose again? I had to know.

Jumping out of the shower, I grabbed my glasses and a towel, not bothering to wrap it around my body and hurried out to the living area, draping the fabric around the front of me just in time to see Lizzie setting a fresh set of clothing on the bed for me. She looked up from the pile she had just set down and glanced at me, I couldn't help but to notice that she had trouble keeping her eyes averted. “Mr. Bates. I apologize if I have interrupted you.” She cleared her throat and pointed at the towel hanging vertically down the front of my body, which I promptly grabbed and adjusted it to give myself some modesty. “Did you have a pleasant bathing experience?” she asked, with a little tone of amusement in her voice.

I frowned at her. “No, not really. I want to see Benjamin and I want to see him now.” I was surprised at the tone in my own voice; it came out loud and very demanding.

“That's unfortunate Sir. I do apologize for that.” She reached down and handed me the clothing from the bed. It was a pair of black dress pants, and a white shirt with a bow tie. I looked at her quizzically at her choice of fashion. “I didn't think that you would be comfortable wearing our uniforms, so I was able to pinch a few of Dr. Wise's old things that I thought would suit you. I do hope that you approve of them.” I narrowed my eyes at her, suspiciously. These were the exact same style and type of clothing that I wore on stage during the demonstrations. 

“Yes Lizzie they are fine.” I turned my back to her and started to go back into the bathroom to get dressed when she called after me.

“Mr. Bates, if I may be so bold as to ask, why did you find your shower uncomfortable? Was it the water temperature, pressure, or volume? If so we can adjust that to your liking. Or was it something else... did you remember something... painful... perhaps?” 

The feeling of my hands wrapped around Brock's neck popped into my head and I tried my best to keep my composure and not reveal anything to her. Her words sent a shiver down my spine. She knew more than she was letting on to. “No, nothing at all. I am merely anxious to go see Benjamin.” It wasn't a lie, merely a half truth.

“Of course sir.” She smiled. “I shall be waiting for you outside your quarters to escort you to him. Please take your time.”

Returning to the bathroom, I shut the door tightly and clicked the lock behind me. Walking over to the mirror, I tossed the clothing on the counter and looked into the mirror with a somber stare. It was me, all along, I was the Monster. I killed my best friend and lost everyone who I once loved. Everything slipped right through my fingers. I balled my hands up into fists and slammed them down on to the counter top. Why was I so pathetically weak? I had let countless good people slip right through my life, all the while sitting back and eating the poison apple that would eventually kill me. I was foolish and stupid to believe that I could go through life being the good guy all the time. I led others to believe this as well, especially Brock, who's only fault in life was that he wanted to love me, but I had become so entangled with my obsession with Ben, that I failed to see what was right in front of me. In the end, I let myself turn into the very one thing that I never wanted to be. The darkness, the Monster. 

There was still hope for me yet, and that was Benjamin. Everything hinged on him. This place could begin to mark the start of a new life, one in which we could spend together here, forgetting about the mistakes I had made in the past. He was alive, that is all I needed to know for the moment. And Brock… what of him? I couldn’t go through having to choose one over the other again, it wouldn’t be possible. I thought about what Lizzie had said about memories. It was almost as if she knew what was going on inside of my head. There were too many questions without answers.

After getting dressed, I met up with Lizzie in the hall, and we started to make our way through the facility. Even though I was on my way to see Benjamin, my lips still tasted like Brock, and my body ached for his touch. I couldn’t get the thought of him out of my head. Something had triggered a flood of memories about him to all come crashing back into my head, and it now made me feel uncomfortable and awkward about seeing Benjamin. A few hours ago, I could of stood before him and dropped to my feet, confessing endless love for him and begging to be part of his life again, but now… the memories of Brock had my head scrambled and my devotion in question. I loved Ben, I loved Brock, and I couldn’t have them both. It was like the past was coming back to haunt me.

We arrived at a secluded area of the base, which was kept under high security. Lizzie let me past several guarded doors until we came to a sitting area outside of a sealed room where she introduced me to the doctor that was taking care of Ben. He instructed her to return to her duties and would summon her if she was needed. As she took leave, I noticed that her eyes shifted from the room beyond to me for a moment and hesitated. She appeared to want to say something but instead calmly walked out and left us alone.

The doctor rapidly took my hand and shook it. “I am very pleased to meet you Mr. Bates. You’ve been the talk of the entire facility for a few days now. It is a pleasure to finally get to meet you face to face. “Let me introduce myself. I am Doctor Browning. I was one of the doctors studying under Dr. Wise, and was appointed to Commander Burnley’s care.”

I shook his hand, wishing that the awkward introductions could be over. I was never good in social situations, others always took care of matters like this for me. Music is what mattered to me, nothing else, however, now here in this place everything was different, priorities changed. I’d have to learn to adapt. “I am sorry for what happened to Dr. Wise. I understand that he was a good man.”

Dr. Browning gave me a open, welcoming smile. “Yes it was most unfortunate. Thomas was like a son to him, they escaped the F.E.C. together and built this place from nothing but sand and dirt. He helped to start a revolution. He will be missed. And as for Thomas, well we’re hoping that he can be saved, but it’s not looking good at the moment. He’s had a complete mental breakdown, and has suffered multiple pin point brain aneurisms, if we can’t get them stopped, he will be dead within days. The visors are a seriously dangerous bit of technology. ” The doctor walked over to a computer, where he switched it on and brought up several medical charts, glancing over them before addressing me. “As you already know, the device that was used on you by the F.E.C. was also used on Commander Burnley. Currently, we do not know the entire process and effects of these devices, but we do know that they are primarily used for brainwashing and uploading memories to their central computer, to be accessed and used for manipulation. The level of effectiveness, however, varies from patient to patient. Some, like Thomas, succumb to the effects almost right away and are easily influenced by it. However in Thomas’s case, we have been doing some testing and found that the conversion process was accelerated for some unknown reason, and as a result, he became mentally unstable, the results of which you have seen first hand.”

I looked at the glowing images of brain scans and other charts on his screen, trying to make sense of it all. “This was the same device that was used on me?” I asked, feeling a little queasy. I disliked the idea of anyone having access to my memories.

Dr. Browning nodded. “Yes. However, for some reason the F.E.C. was unable to ‘break’ you, so they tried to torture you, hoping that the compromised physical being would make it easier to tap into your head and get what they wanted, but as far as we know, other than a bit of memory loss, you are suffering no other effects. What memories they recovered from you, we do not know, however, you are in perfect health otherwise. Consider yourself lucky son, had they completely tapped into your head, you’d be nothing more than a mindless slave of the F.E.C. right now.”

I was really feeling sick. Why was he going into detail about something that was classified information anyway? All I wanted to know about was Ben. One wall stood between us, I wanted to burst through the door and run into be at his side. I stepped away from the computer and over to the door, hoping that Browning would get the hint that I was growing tired of talk. “And Ben?”

Browning sighed and walked away from the computer. “As I said, we do not know the how the visors work yet, but we do know that once it is placed on the head, it bores tiny holes in the sides of the temples with microscopic lasers and inserts a network of microfiber tubes and cables with penetrating needles that it can access the main part of the brain with. The victim then begins to ‘see’ and experience things in a dreamlike state until the process is complete. Sadly when Thomas ripped the visor off of Commander Burnley, the process was still ongoing, and there was some damage.”

Finally, the part that I really wanted to hear. My heart sank. I prepared myself for the worst. “What kind of damage?” I asked, trying my best to control my shaking hands.

He walked over to the door and pushed it open a crack. “Why don’t you go in and see for yourself Mr. Bates? I won’t keep you any longer, he’s actually been asking for you.”

Slowly I opened the door to a darkened room. There was only illumination from one single light, that lit the room with a dull antiseptic incandescence. I let my eyes adjust to the light and looked past all the machines to the bed, where he was laying. I took a breath and looked from him to Browning for a moment. The doctor nodded to me and quietly backed out of the room, leaving us alone for some privacy. I could hear him breathing, steady and even which gave me some relief. He was not attached to any sort of machines, they had all been shut off and pushed to the far corners. As I slowly approached the bed, he sat up, his body becoming bathed in light and I could see that there were several layers of bandages wrapped around his head, covering his eyes and dotted with pin points of dried blood at the temples. He was ashen pale, with a slight yellowish tint to his flesh, a tell-tale sign of some sort of infection, and his arms and hands looked thinner than I had remembered, even a little on the frail side. I brought a hand to my mouth to keep from calling out.  
He slid his legs over the side of the bed and called to me. “Dustin?”

I wanted to run to his side, but I didn’t move or budge, something kept my feet planted firmly in place. I didn’t know if this was the Ben that I had come to know and love. He could be nothing more than a stranger. I had to be cautious. I couldn’t let myself fall for him again, not so easily. I had to be the strong one this time. I inhaled deeply. “Yes Ben, it’s me.”

His posture and frame changed, he sat up straight and pulled his shoulders back, looking as proud and perfect as I had remembered. “Come here, please.” There was a tone in his voice that I had never heard before, it was a little like he was begging me, and I didn’t like it. Willing my feet to move, I came to stand beside where he was sitting. As I neared him, he reached out and took hold of my hand, his icy cool skin making me shiver in the already unnaturally cold room. Guiding me, he pulled me so that I was standing right in front of him as he sat on the bed, and picked up my other hand so that both of them were in his. The shadows of the room seem to gather around him and linger about with an unnatural eeriness. I was thankful that he was holding onto my hands, so that he could not feel them shaking. I looked down at his face, at his sunken cheeks and pale lips, and was filled with pity and sympathy. I wish I could see his eyes, Ben’s eyes were magnificent. But they were covered with the bandages. He ran his fingers over the backs of my hands and I felt my heart start to race. “I’ve missed you, Dustin.”

I struggled to keep my thoughts focused. “Ben, how are you alive, how am I alive?” I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Ben let out a quiet chuckle. “Always with the questions, Dustin, I guess that’s one of the many reasons why I found you so fascinating. You’ve always needed the answers to questions.” He stopped for a second, giving me a moment to react. I stood there before him, trying to be as stoic as I could, remaining silent. When I didn’t respond, he started to speak again. “I will try to explain. The soul has a certain kind of energy that can be harnessed, changed, manipulated into something else, if given the proper direction. After you—“ He stopped again, unable to bring himself to say the words that neither of us wanted to hear. “As incredible as it seems, I was able to capture the energy of your soul and bring it here, because you were bound to me, and you were born into a new world, but with all your memories from your life before still intact. The only drawback is that during the transformation, I lost you. I searched endlessly for you, until I ran into Thomas Bell and the Messengers. I realized that they could help me find you, and I could bring you home to me once again.” He moved his hands from my fingers up to hold onto my wrists and clutched them tightly. “Because you are all that I’ve ever wanted.”

“And Brock?” I said flatly. “What about Brock?” I asked, trying to keep myself calm.

He let go of my wrists and tilted his head down. Once again, I wished that I could see his eyes. I needed to see his eyes. “As you were bound to me, Brock’s soul became bound to yours. His ‘love’ for you was enough to keep him with you, even in death.” 

I hated the way that he said the word ‘love’. It was like he had a bad taste in his mouth. “Where is he, Ben?”

“Not here.” He replied.

I found that it was getting harder to keep my composure. “Then where? Where is he Ben? Tell me, because today I remembered murdering him. The memories and emotions all came flooding back. I felt my hands wrap around his neck and choke the life right out of him. I need to see him again, I need to talk to him and tell him how sorry I am.”

“Brock had a choice to make, and he made it. His loyalties now are with the F.E.C. You can’t see him again, Dustin because he’s the enemy now.” Ben lowered his voice and a sensed a bit of remorse in his tone. “I know this is going to be hard on you, forgiving yourself for your past sins, but Dustin, you aren’t that same person anymore. Time changes everyone. I know this to be the truth. You are stronger now and free of anything that has been holding you down, you have a chance here to be who you are truly meant to be. Let go of the past, let him go, you know deep in your heart that is what you must do. If you choose not to, then you will be pulled apart again, do you really want to put yourself through all that agony again?

Something in his words hit me straight in the heart like an arrow. Brock, choosing to side with the F.E.C. hurt more than any physical blow could ever possibly had. I thought for sure that he loved me, that I loved him, and now knowing that he willingly turned his back on me cut like glass. It shattered me to bits and I felt like I was going to fall apart. I leaned down and placed my hands on both sides of Ben’s cheeks, feeling the flesh under my fingertips and then reached up, starting to unravel the shroud of gauze that circled his head. Layer after layer I peeled it off, until the last inch fell away. Keeping his red-rimmed eyes closed, he turned his head slightly to the side, and I could see the large gouges of flesh that had been ripped open, and then stitched back together. Horrible, painful, red, swollen gaping mouths of muscle, and tissue were sliced from the ear almost to the corner of the eye. Around the serrated layers of flesh, were large patches of purple and blue color, the evidence of massive trauma underneath the skin. Seeing the atrocity before me, I exhaled and whispered. “Oh god Ben.” He took hold of my hand again and brought it up to his cheek, and I stroked my thumb across it. Slowly, and with great pain, he opened his eyes to look at me and I let out a whimper. The once beautifully soft gray eyes that had gazed on me with such love and adoration were now clouded over and milky white, gazing at me in a haunting, sightless stare. Benjamin was blind. I dropped to my knees in front of him, overcome with a wave of sadness and anger all at the same time. I wrapped my arms around his body and rested my head against his chest, listening to his heart beating. It beat strong and true. It beat for one purpose and one purpose only, and that was for me. I felt a tear run down my cheek and then Ben’s hand on my back. I suddenly felt strong and protected, as if my guardian angel had embraced me. I looked up to him, and he wiped away my tears.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed by as I sat there in Ben’s arms, but after a while there was a soft tap on the door and I hurriedly collected myself in time to see Dr. Browning enter. I sat down on the bed next to Ben and kept my gaze aimed down at the floor. I didn’t feel like speaking. I didn't have anything to say anyway. “Commander Burnley.” He called out, rather loudly and rudely I thought. Ben wasn’t deaf, he was blind. “Feeling well today Sir?”

I could feel Ben take in a deep breath and nod next to me. “Yes, much better Browning. Thank you.” He tilted his head in my direction. “Bates will be escorting me back to my room, and we will resume normal operations as soon as possible.” I could see that he was reaching out for the bandage that had been wrapped around his head, not being able to find it, I quickly moved to retrieve it, helping him and winding it back in place. 

The doctor shook his head and crossed his arms out in front of his chest. “Forgive me for speaking out of line Sir, but you’ve suffered a major episode, and we still don’t know all the damage that has been done, I cannot clear you of medical supervision knowing this information. It is highly recommended that you remain here until we are able to determine the full extent of damage. You were very nearly dead.”

Ben stood up, and I joined him, feeling his tall frame lean against mine was wonderful. It had been so long, I had forgotten how tall he was. “I am not going without supervision. Bates is will remain with me on a 24 hour basis at my side, your recommendation is duly noted. I’ll expect your report on the matter on my desk by tomorrow.” I got chills listening to him speak to the doctor. This was the Benjamin that I had met so long ago back in the hotel room, the charismatic, charming dark man who I once sold my soul to. He extended his arm for me, and I immediately took it, not quite sure where I was going, but feeling as though it was important to make a quick and hasty exit from the room.

Leaving the dumbstruck doctor behind us, Ben and I walked out into the hallway, his arm draped over mine, and ran into a startled Lizzie. “Oh! Commander Burnley! It is good to see you up and about sir.” She glanced at the bandages around his face and eyes and then immediately regretted her words.

“Lizzie, can you please show us the way back to Ben’s quarters please?” I asked softly.

“To his private quarters?” She looked at me as if I had just slapped her. “But Commander Burnley and Thomas are…” Stopping abruptly, she put a hand in front of her mouth and went silent nodding and moved out in front of us. “Certainly Sir, this way follow me.” Ben did not say a word on the walk back to his room, but instead would occasionally shift his position, leaning against me for a few moments, then repositioning and walking for a bit more time. I could tell that he was incredibly uncomfortable. Eventually she reached the door to the room and opened it for us with her key card and gestured for us to go inside. I walked Ben in and found a chair for him to sit at, which he guided his large body down in with great care. I noticed that as he sat, he winced a little, there was a bit of pain in his movements. Lizzie stood in the room, watching us with interest. “Will that be all Sir?” She asked.

“Yes Lizzie, thank you, you can go now.” I instructed her. It was odd for me to be giving orders to anyone, but I felt as though with Ben next to me, I didn’t feel awkward about it at all.

She turned to leave and then Ben called after her. “Lizzie?”

Stopping in her tracks, like she had been caught stealing candy, she froze in place and turned around. “Yes Commander?”

Ben leaned back in his chair. “You’re scan card. Give it to Bates.”

She looked from me to him with her jaw slightly open, astonished. “Sir? My card?” Her eyes fell on me in confusion.

“Yes. There is a new one waiting for you at Central Intelligence, it’s already been issued, turn this one in please.” My eyes darted around, watching her, half expecting a argument, although I honestly had no idea why I should be expecting that. She walked over and pulled her card from her pocket and handed it over to me. I got the feeling that she wanted to ask questions, but there was enough infliction in Ben’s tone to make sure that she didn’t protest.

I took the card in my hand and nodded to her. “Thank you Lizzie.” She smiled at me, and casually glanced at Ben, I almost caught a spark of animosity in her gaze, but she then turned away and quickly retreated out the door. I stood there, clutching her card and looking at it dully. “Why take her card?” I asked. 

Ben rose from the chair and started moving around the room, making me nervous. “It’s a precaution. I am not completely sure I can trust her yet.” I wanted to go run to his side, but pride kept me from moving, however, I kept a watchful eye on him instead. It was incredibly difficult for me to see him like this, stumbling around the room, forever lost in darkness. I felt partly responsible for his condition. I could of tried harder to reach Thomas in time, tried to persuade him a little bit more, but I let anger get the better of me, and acted on impulse. All I needed was one more second and everything would of turned out so much differently.

“Dustin, are you standing over there brooding?” Ben called to me as he made his way over to his desk and sat down behind it.

Startled out of my thoughts I made my way over to him. “No, I was just thinking. It’s nothing important.” I came to stand at his side.

“I have something to show you, please dim the lights and turn on the computer please and type in the password.” I found the controls for the lights with ease, bringing them down to just a very ambient state, and fumbled around, looking for the start up button on this futuristic computer. Much to Ben’s amusement and then pushed it in, the machine came to life whirring quietly. A box popped up, waiting for text to be entered.

“Password?” I asked.

“DBATES.”

“What? You’re the Commander of a rebellion against a major military force and the password to your computer is MY name?” I gave him a swift punch in the arm, and immediately regretted it. He may have lost weight and was considerably thinner, but he still had a ton of muscle mass underneath his shirt.

He laughed. It felt good to hear him laugh. “Of course. When you’re looking for something, something that you want with all your heart and soul, you can spend an eternity looking for it, lose your soul in the searching. Then when you finally come home, defeated and crestfallen, you discover that the thing you wanted most, is right there, in front of you the entire time.”

My heart soared. His words were so beautiful, I could sit and listen to him speak like this all night. I punched in the password and the monitor changed to reveal a blank desktop, except for a few generic files. “There’s nothing really important on here, Ben it looks like the computer has been wiped clean.”

“Yes, it has been, but that’s not important at the moment. Do you see the icon with the planet on it?”

“Yes.” I moved the mouse over to the image that he requested.

“Click it.”

I did as he instructed and then the monitor went black. “I think I did something wrong.. “ Suddenly the room burst into life with a thousand stars and planets all around us. It was an entire galaxy of swirling nebula and black holes, immersing us in a beautiful three dimensional kaleidoscope of outer space. Each of the stars flashed with a internal brilliance of their own, mesmerizing and so exquisite that you could not tear your gaze off of it. I stepped away from Ben and moved to the center of the room, my eyes frantically scanning over each particle as I waded through the interstellar map of light. There were sun, moons and comets that orbited around me, each one more detailed and delicate than the last.

Benjamin rose from his chair, and walked around to the front of the desk, using his fingertips to guide him. “You asked me where we were.” He came to stand slightly behind me and kneel down to rest his cheek against mine. He pointed to the far corner of the room, where there was one single, desolate planet separate from the rest. It was shrouded in white, puffy clouds and had a unique earthy color to it. “That is where we are, it is called Prox. It’s at the very edge of the galaxy.” I could feel his breath on my skin, his body pressed up tightly against mine. He brought his lips to the back of my neck and whispered to me. “You were out there, I heard you calling from behind the star fields, I felt you, radiating energy like eternal northern lights.” Placing his hands on my shoulders, his fingers started to drift down over bare arms, down my elbows, to my wrists, while his lips continued to flutter against my neck as he spoke. “Far from the sun, where no one knows, I’ve watched you.” My heart was pounding rapidly with each syllable that he spoke, my skin becoming feverish and warm from each touch. These words were my words, the ones that I sang into the faceless crowd every night. When the lights went down and the music started, I would turn away from the audience so that they could not see me, or see the loneliness in my heart or the pain in my face. I had no one to sing these words to, so I chose to sing them into the darkness, because that desolate nothingness was all that I had in my life. Now, here I was on some far away planet, in the distant future in a room full of stars, being held in the arms of a man that I had come to love, hate and love once again. I had committed the worst atrocities ever known, and yet this man loved me still, he accepted me for who I was, and was willing to take the broken, shattered pieces of my soul and put them back together. Lost in a sea of stars, I closed my eyes for a moment and leaned back into him, bringing one of my arms up and around to cradle his head near mine. I let my fingers run through his dark hair and whispered to him. “I love you, Benjamin.”

I reached down and entwined one of my hands with his, and then I noticed something that I hadn’t earlier. Glancing down, I saw a silver band of metal on his finger. It was a wedding ring. I swallowed hard. Why had I not seen this before? “Ben? Is this what I think it is?” I ran my fingers over the slender piece of metal.

He released me and walked a few steps away from me, back over to the side of the room where the 3-D map displayed no planets, no stars, just an endless black hole, devouring everything around it, swirling and churning with a eerie darkness. His entire demeanor changed in the matter of a few seconds.“Yes.” He answered, his voice barely a whisper.

I walked over to him, through the galaxies and nebula. “Are you married?” I ran my fingers through my hair, I felt awkward and rotten for asking, but I had to know. I realized that I knew nothing of his life here. “You can’t keep secrets from me like this.” I could be potentially destroying something that I had no knowledge of. I refused to ruin someone else’s life for my own happiness. I waited for his response; I knew it couldn’t be true. It simply couldn’t be.

Lowering his head, I saw his fingers caress the ring as if remembering the moment when it was placed on his finger. “Yes.” He said again.

“Oh god.” I exhaled and started pacing. He deceived me! Again! I fell right into his trap! I swore that I wouldn’t ever let myself be taken in by him again, and here I was, letting him seduce me, all the while keeping a secret from me that he was bound to another person. A bitter taste filled my mouth. I wanted to turn away, run out and never look back.

“It was a long time ago. Before I even met you. It was another life, and I was a different person back then.” His shoulders slumped a little and I knew I had been wrong to be so abrupt and short with him. “When I arrived here and started searching for you my heart hurt so much. I was so close to having you back with me, and at the same time, you were so far away. I kept thinking back to all the years I had spent alone, never finding that one single person to connect with and I couldn’t take the pain and grief anymore. I was losing my mind. Then I found this ring, out there on the planet, in a place where it could not possibly ever be. The initials engraved on it were the same ones that I had, so long ago for a brief period of time, when I was happy, and I knew it was mine. How it got out there, I don’t know, and I don’t ever think I will know, but this one single trinket, this piece of jewelry made me believe in myself again, that things we think are long since lost and forgotten can be found again… like you.”

I returned to his side, looking down at his trembling fingers. I had obviously brought up some very painful memories. “Did you love this person, Ben?” I asked.

I saw a tear stream down from under the corner of the bandage. “Yes Dustin. I loved them both. My wife and my son.”

Grabbing him in my arms, I pulled him into me and held onto him tightly, wrapping my body around his. I stood up as tall as I could and brought my lips to the tear that had slid down his cheek and kissed it away, then moved my damp lips onto his. He locked his arms around me and returned my kiss with one of his own, turning the innocent kiss into something more, something deep and passionate than I had ever experienced before from him. I knew at this moment that there was nothing that could stop us from being together. It was my fate all along to be with this man, and I was a fool to deny it. He reached out and untied my bow tie, letting the satin slowly unfurl and fall away, loose around my neck, then started to unbutton my shirt. One at a time, he pushed those white plastic buttons back through the buttonhole and then moved onto the next with uncanny perfect precision for someone without sight. Peeling the folds of fabric away from my chest, Ben dropped the shirt down to the ground and I shivered a bit, as the coolness from his skin, and the air conditioning hit my naked flesh for the first time. He moved his lips away from mine for a moment and then leaned down to kiss the side of my neck. I winced slightly; it was the same spot where I remembered being kissed by Brock earlier. Only this time, the lips that touched my skin were stronger, and more forceful. Noticing the involuntary twitch, he placed one hand alongside of my jaw and whispered. “It’s alright.” Leaning forward, he eased me back down onto the bed, I looked up to see the shift in planets and now there was a beautiful star field hanging above, illuminating the two of us in a gossamer incandescent glow. He stopped for a moment to pull off his own shirt and tossed it aside, and then stretched his body out on top of mine. I felt every inch of the powerful muscles in his arms as he held himself up over me. I tilted my head back into the pillow and he started to kiss a line of kisses down the length of my throat, and down the center of my chest. I clutched at the sheets as he parted his lips and teased each nipple with his tongue, moving it around in circles until a soft moan escaped my lips, and then would catch the tip between his teeth, lightly grinding it between bone and making me gasp for breath. I stretched my arms out and over him, letting my hands caress his broad shoulders and upper back. Even though he had lost weight, there was still a unspoken magnificence to him. The stars lit up his skin, making it shine with a radiance of a god. I was mesmerized by him. Moving down my body, he kissed every single inch of my chest and stomach, not stopping or hesitating, each kiss timed out perfectly as the last one, setting ever nerve in my body on fire. Coming to stop at my navel, his fingers searched for the button of my slacks, fumbling with the enclosure. I sat up slightly, finding his lips for a moment and gave him a quick kiss, then unbuttoned my pants and slipped them off, along with my socks and boots. I ran my hands over his chest, feeling his heart beating within the cage of his ribs, and it felt wonderful. My fingers went down to the waistband of his pants, loosening the button and unzipping them with the utmost care then, curling my fingers around the edges of the material, I pulled them down, and took in the sight of his wonderful body. Pushing me back down onto the bed again, he brought his face close to mine, until we were almost nose to nose and then let his fingers swirl down over my body, moving in slow patterns until he reached my hips. Twisting his wrist, he used feather like movements and started to caress the inside of my thigh, running his fingers down lower and lower until he gripped me firmly, holding onto my length with a powerful, wickedly delightful grasp. I let out a moan of pleasure and felt my body respond to his touch, as I became excited and hard with each exquisite sensation. Running his fingers along my shaft, he let them explore and tease the flesh, swirling them down over every inch until they reached the base. He stopped for a moment and I started to crane my head up to see why he hesitated, and then before I could move, I felt his lips on the head of my shaft, parting and taking me into his moist, damp mouth without pause. An explosion of pleasure erupted inside of me, and I grabbed at the thin sheets with clutched hands, pulling it into tight knots as he devoured me with ease. I could feel his tongue curl and slide along my engorged shaft, and then his fingers that were gripping the base drop down to my balls, where he fondled them as he continued to suck ferociously, bringing me almost to the point of tears.

Up and down he moved, his lips firm and tense until I was almost at the height of pleasure. He suddenly stopped then, and kissed the head of my shaft with those soft lips. I bit down deeply onto my lower lip, desperately needing him to finish and called out to him. “Ben, please... don't stop. I need this, I need you.” I reached down and touched the side of his face, feeling the thick gauze bandage underneath the palm of my hand.

He whispered quietly to me, in a voice that was as smooth as velvet. “ A long time ago, I asked you if you wanted this and you said yes. I tricked you into giving your soul to me.” He pulled my body down onto the edge of the foot of the bed. The sheets crumpled up underneath me, and I could feel him my parting my legs with those unnaturally cold fingers. “Tonight, I am offering you something else. No trickery or lies involved. I am offering you a new life, offering you redemption. All you have to do is give me one thing...your body.” He brought his lips up to mine and I tried to kiss him, but he dropped them down to hover over my lower lip, brushing against with the most delicate of touches while he spoke to me. My entire body was on fire now, I needed his cold skin on me to cool me off. “Dustin, do you want this?” he asked, his voice so soothing and inviting. I wish I could of looked into his eyes so he would know exactly how much I did.

I felt his body move in position between mine, I knew what he wanted. I was shivering with anticipation. I lifted my legs up slightly off the bed and caught his lower lip between my teeth, teasingly pulling at it and then said, “Yes.” His powerful hips pressed against me, and I could feel the head of his cock now between my spread legs, thick and hard, throbbing and pulsing with blood flowing through it. I had been waiting for this moment for so long, we had been through so much together, and this was the final thing that would finally bring us together. I inhaled, drawing the breath full into my lungs as I felt him start to penetrate me, my body aching and begging for more. Feeling the head slip inside of me, I lifted my buttocks off the bed slightly more, inviting him to go deeper inside, desperately wanting to absorb every inch of him, have him fill me up with everything that he was. 

As I held my breath into my lungs, he leaned in slightly and whispered. “Dustin, breathe.” I exhaled loudly and as I did, he pushed the entire length of his member into me, and at the same time reached around to grab hold of my shaft and start to grip it with full force, his hands pumping in time with the thrusts of his hips, driving me into a state of extreme exhilaration. I struggled and gasped for breath as I felt him inside of me, pushing, thrusting, penetrating me with perfect precision and rhythm. I wanted to kiss him, I needed to feel his lips over mine, but lost in a coma like state of pleasure, all I could do was lean back and close my eyes, sinking into the layers of pleasure. There was no pain at all, only a indescribable bliss and satisfaction. He possessed a strength and prowess that I had never experienced before, I could feel it with every single movement of his hips, shoving himself deeper into me. Further and further he went in, picking up speed and pace as his hand movements pumped me faster and harder. We were both covered in sweat. Occasionally his thumb would lightly fall over the head of my cock, and I'd fight as hard as I could to hold myself back from letting go. I had to hold on. This made me his now, and I wanted him to take all that he wanted, to totally devour me and leave nothing behind of the old life that I had. Bring me into a new world where everything was going to be okay and we could be together forever. I was burning up now, vaguely aware that the sheets were now soaked with sweat underneath us, but still tried to force myself to breathe. The sensations where overwhelming, and I felt my body start to tense up. I opened my eyes, reaching out to touch his firm chest. I wanted to be touching him when the moment came. To my surprise he pulled my hand away with a unexpected tug. I inhaled, worried that I had done something wrong. Then he brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it, in a incredibly romantic gesture and then brought it down to where his other hand was, still stroking me, luring me, daring me to last one second longer. He took my fingers and wrapped them around my length, then placed his own hand over it, so that we were both stroking it at the same time. The sensations were almost too much to bare. I was near to the end, panting, gasping, almost begging for release. He took his other hand and placed it alongside of my jawline, tracing his fingers over my jawbone. “Let it go, let everything go.” He commanded.

At that moment, I felt him push into me with a sudden, unexpected thrust that I thought would rip me apart, but at the same time, I started to come, mixing exquisite pain with pleasure and setting all my nerves on fire. Deep within me, I felt him climax at the same time, filling me up with a unexpected, warm sensation that I wanted to last forever. As the waves of pleasure shot through me, he continued to push his cock into me, but slower now almost matching the pace of my pulse as it decelerated with the final throes of orgasm. I gasped for breath, and leaned back into the pillows as he gradually separated himself from me, his thick cock slipping out from deep inside me and the hand that had been stroking me, finally releasing as he came to rest on the bed next to me. He curled up next to me, laying on his side and draped an arm over my chest, protectively and kissed the side of my face. I couldn't say a word to him, I didn't want to ruin the moment. I could smell the scent from his flesh all over my body, and it was intoxicating and delightful. I glanced over to look at him, his head and eyes still wrapped up in the white gauze and I started to cry. His fingers left my chest and reached up to touch my face. I quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled it away, putting it back down on my chest. I didn't want him to know that I was crying. They were tears of happiness, not sorrow. I exhaled, leaning over, and brought my forehead to touch his. “Ben?”

“Yes Dustin?” he asked, his low baritone voice sounding so bewitching and dazzling.

I stumbled over the words. “I love you.”

He pulled me closer to him, keeping my body in a locked embrace of which I could have never escaped from, even if I wanted to. I leaned in and rested my head on his chest. Kissing my cheek, he smiled at me. “I know, Dustin. I've always known.”

I don’t know how long we laid there, our bodies entwined in each others arms, not saying a word, it could have been hours or minutes, I wasn’t certain. No words were spoken between us; there wasn’t a need for it, all I needed to know I could hear with my ear pressed up against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Eventually sleep overcame us both and I drifted off into a dream filled slumber. 

As my eyes closed, the sound of Ben’s heart changed and faded into that of the ocean, the waves of murky water crashing far offshore all around me. I found myself standing on that familiar beach once again, bathed in the brilliant white moonlight under a blanket of stars. I looked around, seeing things how they once were. The soft, sandy beach stretching on for miles, the faint outline of the beach house that I once shared with the other guys, and far off in the distance, the vastly tall line of limestone rocks that made up the cliffs which surrounded the area, stretching up to the heavens with their treacherous heights. This was once the place that I called home, a place to rest and recuperate after the tours, a place to sit and lose one ’s self in the wonders of lyrics and melodies. I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of the warm breeze on my face and the light spray of water over my body. This was my solitude. 

 

Taking in the fresh air, I opened my eyes and found myself standing right in front of the dark cloaked Monster once again. I was surprisingly calm. I did not run, or panic, but calmly stood my ground and met its gaze head on. “I don’t need you anymore. I am erasing you from my mind forever. There will never be a need for you again.” I took a breath and realized that my voice had risen slightly in tone and infliction. “The sins of the past have all been washed away. My soul is set free now.” I stood, waiting for a response, or defiance, but it remained still, only its thick dark robes moving in the breeze. The moon far overhead started to disappear behind some clouds, leaving the beach in shadows and darkness. Waiting anxiously, I could feel my patience starting to wear thin. I wanted this dream, this encounter to be over so that I could retreat back to the comfort of sleeping in Ben’s arms. Sensing my irritation, the Monster responded with very slight movement, stretching his arm out and extending his cloak in a flourish. The material caught the breeze, and shifted, revealing a small child, no older than three or four years old standing there underneath his arm. I looked at him curiously. He had long brown hair that dropped down to his shoulders, ending in the most delicate of waves that framed his cherub like face perfectly. In his arms, he was clutching a light blue teddy bear which had a familiar Celtic knot embroidered on its tummy. His deep, dark eyes caught mine for a moment and I felt something stir inside of me. A loud clap of thunder boomed overhead and the wind began to pick up slightly, signaling a storm on the horizon. 

I watched as the Monster moved again, this time reaching around behind its body and pulled out a strange glowing visor. It pulsed a bright orchid color that illuminated everything around it. My heart raced and I took a step forward. This was the same brain washing device that had been attached to Ben by Thomas and I started to panic. Holding the visor in both hands, I watched in horror as he started to bring it down over the child’s head. “NO!” I screamed and sprung forward, moving as fast as I could, but everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. The Monster’s clawed fingers dropped the device in place, and immediately the lasers kicked in, going to work boring holes in the child’s temples to insert the network of cables in. The little boy screamed out in pain and agony, dropping his teddy bear and trying to pull it off. I scurried over to him, and just as I reached him, the monster wrapped his robes around him and they both vanished, leaving nothing but the teddy bear behind on the damp sand. Dropping down to my knees, I picked it up, running my fingers over the finely stitched Celtic knot. There were very fine droplets of blood that coated the toy, still damp and fresh; slowly seeping into the fabric that I knew would leave a permanent stain. The rain started to pour down as I sank down into the sand, clutching the bear to my chest, remembering the sound of the little boy’s screaming echoing in my ears with brutal clarity. 

My eyes shot open and I woke up to find myself wrapped up in the bed sheets, the cloth twisted and knotted around my naked body. I looked around, and breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that I was still in Benjamin’s soft bed. Rolling over, I winced as some of the muscles in my body refused to cooperate, making me move over in strange, jagged movements. I reached out for him, but he wasn’t there. Ben’s side of the bed was just as disheveled as mine, but he was not in it. My mind immediately went into panic mode. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed for my glasses on the night stand, shoving them on my face and rising to my feet in a matter of moments. How could he just leave me like this? Last night had been something wonderful, a precious moment that we shared together, and I imagined that I would be waking up the same way that I went to bed, in his arms. Instead, I was here, naked, cold and left alone. My heart felt heavy. I started to think… I had a key card, I could access most of the base. I would start looking for him, and when I found him, I would give him a piece of my mind. Firm and resolute, I wouldn’t let that sly smile win me over so easily. Not again. 

I walked past the mirror and caught sight of myself. I was a mess. I’d have to go take a shower first. The thought of it made me shudder, but I knew I had to do it. My skin still smelled like him. I couldn’t stand it. I made my way to the bathroom, gathering up my discarded clothing from the night before and just as I was about to open the door, it slid to the side and saw Benjamin standing there, fully dressed and showered, new gauze and bandages applied to his wounds. “Ben!” I exclaimed and dropped the clothing I had balled up in my arms down to the floor. I wrapped my arms around him and fell against his body, trying to hold my emotions back. 

“Good morning Dustin.” He laughed, drawing me into a tight hug, almost crushing the life right out of me. He smelled wonderful, he felt wonderful. “Are you alright?” he asked, a bit of serious concern in his voice.

I finally managed to collect myself and take a deep breath. “Yes, I just thought that… you were..” I mumbled something incoherent. 

He ran his hands down my bare arms and I started to shiver, suddenly realizing how naked I really was. “That I was gone, that I left you?” He shook his head. “No Dustin. You’ve got to let go of this self-doubt. I love you, I want to be with you, I’ve always wanted to be with you, and I am never letting you go, do you understand?” I nodded and exhaled. He was right. I had become so accustom to becoming attached to someone and then having them leave me, that I just automatically assumed that he would too. Deep inside, I did know better. This was Benjamin Burnley. He was more than a man. He was something else, something special, and now I belonged to him. I saw him reach out for me and took hold of his hand, grasping onto it tightly. “I have something to give you.” 

“Oh?” I asked curiously.

Slipping his hand into his pocket, he withdrew the wedding ring that I had asked about and he placed it in the palm of my hand, pushing my fingers closed over it. I looked at him, slightly confused and then realized that he couldn’t see my face. Before I could say anything, he explained his reasoning to me. “I want you to have this. Keep it for me. Someplace safe. I don’t need it anymore.”

“Ben. This belongs to you, and your family.” I said, gazing at the beautiful trinket in my hand. 

“And that is exactly why I am giving it to you.” He bent down and kissed my forehead. “You are my family now, Dustin.” 

I gazed at him for long moments, my eyes filling up with tears which I quickly wiped away. I had never cried so much in my entire life than I had these last two days. These were tears of joy and happiness, not anger or shame, and I would gladly shed them for eternity. Tilting his head down, he parted my lips with his tongue and delivered a heavy, serious kiss on my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and sank into it, enjoying the taste of him all over again. Finally after several moments, he pulled me out of his arms and let me go. My body protested. I wanted to go back over to the bed with him and make love to him all over again, I wanted his body inside of mine. He smiled at me, I could tell that even though he was blind now, he knew my thoughts. “Later, love. I promise.” He chortled. “We have a lot to do today. There’s still the matter of the F.E.C. threat that needs to be dealt with, and you need to be briefed on operations if you are going to be my second in command.”

“What? Me? Oh Ben I don’t know about that. I am not much of a leader and---“ He brought a finger to my lips shushing me. 

“You will do fine. Trust me.” He moved away from me and stepped away from the door to the bathroom. “Go get yourself cleaned up and presentable. There are fresh clothes waiting for you. I will be right out here waiting for you, take your time.” 

Resigning myself to his request, I took a hasty shower and dressed with minutes. I didn’t really want to be part of a rebellion, all I wanted was Ben, but now I was being sucked into it. I felt uncomfortable and anxious at the thought of having that many lives resting on my shoulders. There were only four of us in Starset, and Ron would occasionally comment that we all acted like irresponsible children at times and he had to do things to make sure that we didn’t end up dead in a ditch or something. Four lives as compared to four thousand didn’t seem like a risk I was willing to take. I placed my glasses on my face and picked up the wedding band that Ben had given me, turning it over and looking at the inscription inside. He said that he had a family. A wife and…. Oh god… he had a son! Benjamin’s child was a boy! The little boy on the beach with the dark eyes and hair had to be his. That is why he looked so familiar to me. This wasn’t just an ordinary dream, it was a warning.

Shoving the ring into my pocket, I quickly slid the door open and stormed out into the living quarters. “Ben! Ben! The dream that I had… it’s…” I stopped, looking up and realizing that we were not alone. Benjamin was sitting at his desk, with Dr. Browning, Lizzie and two guards at his side. I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Lizzie looked at me in disgust for some odd reason and then turned away, her gaze fixed on some random papers she had clutched in her hands, while Dr. Browning shot an irritated glance in my direction. I considered looking for the nearest window to jump out of, to avoid the situation all together, but Ben gestured for me to come over.

“Thank you for joining us Bates.” He said in a flat, serious voice that boomed around the room. “Dr. Browning dropped into inform us of a rather dire situation.” I wasn’t used to seeing ‘Commander Burnley’ before and I was fascinated by him now. He was solemn and sincere about the situation, and I wondered if he really did, truly care about these people. He was so different from the person that I used to know, and yet, still the same. It confused me to no end. There was much I would still learn from this man. I joined the group at the desk, watching them almost reluctantly accept me, but knowing that had they refused, they would have been met with Ben’s disapproval. “Browning, please repeat to Bates here exactly what you told me a few moments ago.”

Doctor Browning crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Is it really wise to allow a civilian in on information that is considered top secret, Sir?” he asked, obviously proud of his retort. 

Benjamin slowly stood up from his chair, and Lizzie turned pale and took a step back. He was considerably taller than the doctor and even though he was blind, he still exuded a sense of power and authority. The man cowered and I could tell that he regretted his question. “Bates is my second in command now, following a complete briefing. I EXPECT you and everyone else here to show him the same respect and courtesy that you show me. Is this clear, Browning?”

The doctor quickly changed his tone. “Of course, crystal clear Sir. Please forgive my rather inconsiderate questioning. I did not know of your... “He paused and coughed. Lizzie smirked. “Ahem, ‘Arrangement’ with Mr. Bates.” Neither Benjamin or I were amused by his levity or thinly veiled contempt. I looked to Ben, to see if he would chastise the doctor again, but he remained silent. He knew that there would be many more battles to fight, after injecting me into the hierarchy of the Messengers, but they were ones that he was willing to take on. Doctor Browning relaxed a bit, knowing that his protests were not going to get anywhere and gave in to his Commander’s wishes, addressing me with a bit of feigned respect. “As you know, following the incident with Commander Burnley, Thomas Bell was taken into custody and secured in a holding cell, pending a full investigation. His crimes being that of treason, murder, attempted murder…” He glanced over to Ben, who had his head tilted slightly down, listening intently. “sexual assault, and theft. Since Commander Burnley was out of commission for a few days, other members of the Messengers stepped in and had made a decision that he immediately be put to death. They simply couldn’t take the chance of having a high security risk locked away in our basement, however, with a little help I persuaded them not to act on their ruling. We needed to keep him alive so that we can fully explore and understand the effects of the visor, and I was right. In the space of two days, the F.E.C.’s influence started to fade from his head, and was more like his normal self, except for the one minor side effect of memory loss.”

“Selective memory loss?” I asked, not realizing that I was thinking out loud. It could be like me forgetting the memories of Brock, since the visor was used on me as well. I couldn't seem to figure out why I was able to remember everything, except my life with him. It was a complete mystery. 

Browning shook his head. “No. Total memory loss. The last thing he remembers was returning home from the mission to rescue you, Mr. Bates. Everything after that is simply gone. As the hours passed, Mr. Bell started recovering and asking questions. It would seem that the F.E.C. no longer had use for him, so they cut their losses and ceased feeding him information. We did not reveal any of his crimes to him, due to the sensitive nature, but we believe that he may have felt some sort of remorse or guilt over his unknown actions.”

“He sat down there in his cell, all alone in the corner begging for us to let him see the Commander with tears in his eyes. All alone!” Lizzie piped in and then was quickly shot down with a severe and harsh look from the doctor. 

Obviously irritated he had been interrupted in the middle of his story, Browning continued. “Then a few days ago, the guard went to check on him and we found him unconscious in the cell with no signs of trauma at all. He was rushed to the prison hospital and a full battery of tests were run. It was determined that Mr. Bell was suffering from multiple microscopic brain aneurisms. We feared that he could expire before our research was completed, so we moved him from the prisoner medical ward to the infirmary here on the main floor.”

“Moved from a high security location to a heavily populated civilian location with minimal supervision, just so you could use him for your lab rat.” Ben interjected. Doctor Browning simply nodded with a guilty look. He had no other explanation. “Go on Browning. Finish your story. Tell Bates the result of your blunder in the name of science.” I cringed at the tone in Ben’s voice. It was harsh and abrasive now. 

Browning shifted from foot to foot. “Sometime during the night last night, Mr. Bell became conscious again and was able to break free and overcome the guard that we had positioned outside of the door and slipped away into the facility.”

“Oh god, you mean escaped and is running around out there, a fucking dangerous criminal?” I shouted. 

“Yes, I am afraid so.” The doctor replied.

“Wait, you said that he was having brain aneurisms, right? That means that would be in a lot of pain, and less of a threat.” I asked, trying to look for a ray of hope.

The doctor pointed at a chart printed with various scans and diagrams, each displaying a different level of information with a different color. I picked them up, scanning quickly over them, even though there were highly sophisticated charts, it was easy to see what he was referring to. Thomas Bell’s brain actually started healing itself after he had been brought upstairs and was fully functional, it was all a ploy to be moved into a lower security location. The man was clever. “Fuck, he wasn’t sick at all.” I didn’t even care about trying to keep up appearances. They had set a madman on the loose. I had seen the violence and evil that this man had done first hand, and now that he was free, there was no telling what he was capable of. I was now very worried for Ben. 

Benjamin leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and sighing. I knew that it was going to get worse.

“Ben?”

He tilted his head in my direction; I could almost feel his sightless eyes staring at me intently. “They let him escape.” 

I tried my best to offer some sort of comfort about the situation. “We can find him Ben. There are lots of highly trained soldiers here for the resistance I am sure of it. Just give them the order. They can track him down somehow; just look at all this technology around us!”

Benjamin sighed. “He’s got the visor.”

…..to be continued


End file.
